How to Gain Unity and Equality in a Marriage?
Gaining unity and equality in a marriage, being united in love and mutual understanding, I suppose, is a desired
goal and ideal of happiness for both religious and nonreligious people in
marriages. This is not easy because men and women are designed by the Lord to
be different and complement each other. But as the prophet and president Eyring
said: "It is a necessity... And
at the creation of man and woman, unity for them in marriage was not given
as hope, it was a command! “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen.
2:24). Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That
union in love is not simply an ideal... He placed in men and women from
the beginning a desire to be joined
together as man and wife forever to dwell in families in a perfect,
righteous union." I noticed in my marriage, that it is not always
easy to gain this unity. We as natural man and woman have challenges to be
united because of our selfishness and
tendency of opposition. The good news is that we have a hope because of the
Atonement of Jesus Christ our natures can be changed to make this unity
possible. How many times I would like to keep "my justice" in a
dispute with my husband. The solution is not to stay pride, but repent and humble myself, and seek for the Spirit and unity.
"If we are to have unity, there are commandments we must keep concerning
how we feel. We must forgive
and bear no malice toward those who offend us...A unity which comes to
a family or to a people softened by the Spirit will bring great
power."
It does not work in a marriage if
only one gives in relationship. The marital relationship should be a
partnership, equal partnership. Richard B. Miller in his article Who Is the Boss? Power in Relationships in Families, says, ”Research
also demonstrates that unequal power relationships in marriage are predictive
of depression. Thus, research consistently finds that happy relationships are most likely to occur in marriages where the
couple shares power and has a
true partnership." In modern day marriages it is not easy to recognize
inequality. for example, in my family my husband like to make quick decisions,
but i am very slow in this. I was so surprised when I read about how apostles
of the Church are discussing and discussing for long time till they all have
the same confirmation of the Spirit that their decision is right. Family
councils is the way that couples can work on equal decision making. "A husband
should not make decrees. Rather, he should work with his wife until a joint
decision palatable to both is developed. They [husbands and wives]
should be one in harmony, respect, and mutual consideration. Neither
should plan nor follow an independent course of action. They should consult,
pray, and decide together." It probably will take for decision making
more time, but the result of this discussion is priceless - the feeling of
unity, connection and equality.
0 comments: